the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
