i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
