I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
