Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
