Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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