just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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