Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
