Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
