It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
