toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
