this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
