I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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