It's Friday. Sex?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
