I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
