some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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