i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
