I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
