you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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