That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
