I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
