Don't you send me to vm
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
