yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
