someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
