Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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