I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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