it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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