It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
