taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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