that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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