Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
