hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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