Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
