Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
