they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
