Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
