This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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