Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want to have your abortion
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
