Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
