Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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