Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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