hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
