I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
