I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
