You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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