we're chasing vodka with high fives
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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