i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So many bounce houses so little time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
