it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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