so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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