i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize