You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
