The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
